Monday, March 17, 2008


I thought this was terrific.

My Name is Gossip.

I have no respect for justice, I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, The more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They can-not protect themselves against me, Because I have no name and no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, The more elusive I become. I am no-body's friend. I tarnish a reputation, It is never the same. I topple Governments and wreck marriages. I make innocent people cry in their pillows.

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30 Destructive Principles of Gossip

1-People who gossip give themselves away. They tell how they truly feel about someone, but tell everyone BUT them.

2-People who gossip don't want to know the truth. If they did they would ask the one involved.

3-People who gossip believe lies, WANT to believe lies, and persuade others to believe lies.

4-Gossip is censorship and gross injustice. The one involved has no right to defend him/herself. Gossip is a Kangaroo Court.

5-People who gossip deceive themselves. They deny it is gossip by calling it by something else to justify it.

6-Gossip is conspiracy. "A plot by two or more people against..."

7-Gossip doesn't want to know "The rest of the story."

8-Because of judgmental attitudes, the one who gossips will avoid and alienate the subject of the gossip, believing lies. Usually, how much they gossip is proportional to how much they avoid them.

9-The one hearing the lie, then finding out the truth later on - will continue to cling to the original story, and will wind up still avoiding the one involved, since it's too humiliating to admit they were wrong. Subsequently, the subject of the gossip is the one who suffers alienation.

10-If you are carnally minded, your thinking will "Dovetail" with the mentality of the gossip system and it's whole network of lies. You will twist convenient pieces of any argument to support preconceived thinking.

11-Gossip sows seeds of mistrust. The ones involved cause the subject of the gossip to lose faith in them.

12-There is no accountability and no responsibility with gossip. A tabloid mentality says anything about anyone for any reason, and answers to no one.

13-However, gossip is worse than tabloid newspapers! At least with them, you can go to the local newsstand to find out what they are saying about you!

14-Gossip polarizes people. The gossiper winds up resenting the subject of the gossip, true or not.

15-Carnally minded people who hear the gossip know that it is a lie because they don't inconvenience themselves to find out the truth.

16-If they do hear "The rest of the story" they "Play the devil's advocate" against the victim.

17-Gossip is a "loyal" one way street. Mrs. A is loyal to Mrs. B. If you tell A something about B, she will check with B to verify it. But if they talk about YOU (an outsider), they will NEVER tell you what they said to verify anything. To question it would be for them to betray each other.

18-Gossip goes into denial by sticking to the original story, and grasping for straws to avoid truth.

19-Gossip has the uncanny ability of drawing more and more conclusions on less and less info.

20-When gossip reaches "Critical Mass", you have a lynch mob mentality. (Remember Rigoletto?)

21-Gossip has a "Built-it seeking mechanism". It gravitates toward those who promote it, and avoid those who expose it.

22-Gossip has a built-in protection mechanism:
a-Pride stands in the way of admitting that they gossip - so never find out the truth from "The horse's mouth".
b-Pride stands in the way of finding out the truth for fear they may have been wrong.
c-The more time goes by, the more cemented they are in their belief that it is true. Hitler once said "If you tell a lie long enough, people will believe it."
d-Pride stands in the way of apologizing to the subject that they drew conclusions without knowing all the facts.
e-The more loyal they are in their relationship, the more protected the gossip is. Just like the "Solemn oath" all the elephants took when gossiping about "Mrs. Jumbo and Dumbo". If the gossipers have a strongly established loyal tie with each other, the gossip is like protecting a secret oath.

23-Why is it when one gossips to another about a third person, it alienates that person. If they tell C what A said, they alienate themselves from A, if they tell A what B said, it alienates them from B.

24-Gossip uses sincere people unwittingly, causing lies to be more convincing, since those who hear them think they are the truth, and only perpetuate the scenario.

25-Gossip has the uncanny ability of benefiting the gossipers in areas of approbation, flattery, "mutual enemy society", all at the victim's expense.

26-After so much time goes by, people only have a general opinion of you (bad) w/o remembering the details and lies. Consequently, attempts to set the record straight is futile. (ie. The 10 O'clock news)

27-By taking part in gossip, in the final analysis you are an "Accessory to the crime".

28-Because of this, there is a "blackmail" protection built into it because each party can preventing them from "blowing the whistle" on each other.

29-The door is now wide open for gossip to have free reign. Once one gossip session is permitted, a precedent is now set for others - even sessions about YOU!

30-Beware! How much someone talks to you about others may be how much they talk to others about you!

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The most tragic element is the topic of the gossip is very rarely any of the concern of the person carry on the gossip. Further, it is almost always motivated by one vile element, jealousy.

Gossip is seductive.

No one can emphatically say that he is immune to gossip. Sometimes, some unintentional and casual remark or a joke to break the monotony makes rumour and gossip wheel to rotate.

It gathers momentum when the listener gives credence to it, lubricates the rumour and gossip wheel in repeating it to others; ultimately the wheel developing enough momentum and potential to tear us apart like a bulldozer.

Though Gossip generally means malicious talking about some individual, it also encompasses informal communication about objects or events - not just people. Gossip can be true or false or both, but there is no denying the fact that it is universal.

Gossip reigns where angels fear to trade

Gossip generally flourishes in work place culture that is not transparent.

It is rampant in our lives where there is lack of trust in relationships - relationship between each other and loved ones.
When there is lack of communication between us of information particularly at a time of an impending crisis, it creates a vacuum.

For the most part, people feel frustrated out of fake and imaginary fears. People develop their own assumptions and surmises. They start saying all sorts of things behind each-others' back.

Rumour and Gossip develop and spiral outwards like a tornado. The central theme is - "Nature avers a Vacuum" and if there is a vacuum in communication, rumor and gossip rush to fill it.

People will continue to talk about others.
But, however, we have a choice how we handle the stuff, how we respond. Wisdom lies in not confronting Gossip, but accepting it as a natural social behaviour .


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