Saturday, June 23, 2012

Sick and tired of weight obsession

      I have seen the above picture so many times posted on Facebook and for most people, yes being overweight is the worst thing they can be. You are looked at with less disdain if you are a drug user, murderer or even a child molester. I have spent the past 2.5 months since moving from NC trying to find a decent dr. I have been no less than 5 times and my whole purpose was to get a referral to the rheumatologist. The drs have said they aren't certain I have RA even though they are the ones who first diagnosed me. I finally went to an urgent care place and they did nothing to help my pain either but at least they did give me a referral for 2 months from now. I have never had so much pain in my life and can't even stand upright. My hands and shoulders, back and hips are so sore. I went to see the actual medical doctor this week and while I am telling him that I am in so much pain that I can't even get up and down without my daughter's help all he is talking about is my weight and diabetes. Yes I am way way overweight but I wasn't there for that. This dr has tested me no less than 3 times for diabetes and you can actually see the disappointment on his face when it shows up low blood sugar every time. It has reached the point that if you go to the dr anymore with an ear ache they are going to blame it on your weight. I honestly wanted to just punch him. My daughter went with me so she could see what I was dealing with. She was like "does he even hear you at all". No matter what I said about pain, he talked weight. 

     Now I am determined to lose weight and prove everyone wrong. I am well aware that I would feel much better if I were thinner but its pretty hard to think of dieting when you are in too much pain to move. I am tired of being judged all the time because of my weight. I made it pretty successfully through yesterday so now onto day 2. I made a gallon of the apple cinnamon water from here and spent the day reading weight loss blogs. I have to be immersed in something for it to work for me. Here is so good old music from Rocky to inspire me.



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