Saturday, November 24, 2012

TSMS- I Just Came To Talk With You, Lord

It seems like its been forever since I have participated in TSMS. 2012 has honestly been the hardest year of my entire life. I have been shaken to the core. I have felt so lost and undone.  I have cried more than I would have thought possible, there have been way to many times that I thought of ending it all. Like an alcoholic craves that drink I craved death. I wanted it. I was just so tired and overwhelmed by pain and daily life. I have been in the darkest and longest valley I ever known since March 10th yet in the wee morning hours today God started speaking to me. I guess it would be truer to say I started hearing because God is always speaking to our hearts. Anyway I was reminded that even though this has been such a horrible year for me, I have actually seen some of the greatest miracles of my life this year also. In late April I had an aunt who suffered complete liver failure and was being put in hospice care. I prayed to God for her healing because as I told God, I just couldn't take another loss. It would have just pushed me over the edge. 2 days later God gave the victory and my aunt came out of her coma and went home from the hospital. She is still alive today.  2 times in my life and in 2 different states I have had doctors do bloodwork and tell me I had rheumatoid arthritis, in June I had new bloodwork done and not one sign of rheumatoid arthritis was to be found,  then at the end of October another aunt was put in the hospital and they were sure it was advanced liver cancer or a slew of other fatal diseases. Once again God moved and brought healing.  I have read the footprints poem many times of the years and I always asked God why I was always alone in my darkest hours, I never saw the footprints. This time He showed me exactly when He was carrying me. I feel so loved and blessed. I am sure the dark days aren't just over but I'm just going to rest here in God's hands for a while. And while I am here I just want to talk to Him and spend some love time with Him.

I hope you enjoy this song as much as I have.


Nana Jul said...

The singer is's "IN" the heartache, pain and troubles when we get still that we hear the LORD speak...treasures in the darkness.
Hold on Madonna...never ever give up! FIX your eyes on JESUS...He is faithful and will never let you go!
He will move mountains...look for it!

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