Afraid at the Gas Pumps

 

These days when we think of fear at the pumps we think of gas prices but I had a very scary occurrence on my way to work this morning. I have a praise report this morning. I just thank God for His presence and His watching over me when I am stupid. It was about 7am so still dark.  I will admit I am one of those ppl who doesn't lock the car doors (that changes today). I stopped at the Quik Check to get gas and there was a young man sitting up by the store door. I stopped at the pump and usually I get right out and go in to pay but today I was looking in my purse for the money first. I look up and that man was trying to open my passenger door, just that fast. That was the only door on the car that was miraculously locked. I spoke through the glass to tell him I didn't know him. His response was that didn't matter. Then he goes back to the gas tank and lifts the hose in an attempt to put it in the car. Once again, praise God, the gas tank refused to open (it doesn't lock). I just yelled at him and said never mind I don't have any money and drove away. 

I told a friend that is how fast something can happen and no one be the wiser. There wasn't anyone else on the parking lot. I could see the clerk but she had her back to me and was stocking cigarettes so she didn't even know I had pulled on the lot. So if he had been able to get in the car and we left the lot, there wouldn't have been a clue about it.

Depressed

I was laying in bed last night and suddenly realized that I am depressed. It has just come over me so slowly that I didn't see it. Plus I don't feel sad, I just don't feel.  I was clinically depressed a number of years ago and I can still remember the overwhelming feeling of sadness and just crying all the time. I lost about 50 lbs and wasn't able to function.  I couldn't sleep and would be awake days at a time. I finally went to the dr and they put me on Zoloft and it helped almost immediately.

I guess that's why I didn't get it this time that I am so depressed because I am almost the polar opposite. I sometimes cry a bit at sad stuff but it passes quickly and I go back to my usual numbness. I gained 50 lbs instead of losing it. I sleep all the time and stay home as much as possible. I bitterly resent having to leave the house for anything. I can count on one hand the number of times I saw my best friend this year and she only lives a few miles down the road. I don't go to stores, I send my daughter in for me, mostly. I have stopped going to church. I still talk to God daily but I just don't go to church. I don't keep up with friends online or by calling.

Now that I have realized it, I am going to spend the next week trying to deal with it but if I don't see improvement I am going to call the dr and possibly get some medicine to help.

Pneumonia

I haven't written in ages. I ended up getting pneumonia 2 days before Thanksgiving. I have been so sick and can't seem to bounce back. I have been sick with something almost every day for 2 months now. I keep thinking I am going to work on getting healthier but I just feel so bad that hasn't happened. Of course, honestly while I am feeling so bad really would be the best time. Now I am hurting in my back and leg :(. Next month my insurance kicks in and I am going to see if a chiropractor can help me. I already went to a rheumatoidologist and he basically did nothing but put me on drugs. I am not going to live my life doped up.

My wonderful boss gave me a Christmas bonus that was actually more than my usual payday. I am so thrilled. I am going to use that money to buy a new laptop. I haven't had one since mine died way back in April. I have been looking but there aren't any good deals right now. I guess they figure everyone is buying laptops as presents so they have jacked the prices up. I am ok with waiting until after the holidays to see what I can find.

I have barely been entering any giveaways. Some days I enter nothing at all. You can tell it too because my wins and package deliveries have virtually stopped. I am going to try to get back into a routine and enter some each day. I see a lot on Pinterest. I have discovered the ugliness of humans on those giveaways. Some people have banned me for following their giveaway boards. some waiting until I repinned their pins but then they banned me. A few ppl do something that I consider the same as cheating. Most giveaways give entry points for sharing on pinterest. Yet some ppl waiting until just hours before the giveaway ends before they share. I know sometimes you don't find a giveaway until the last day but there is at least one person I follow who never ever shares anything unless it ends that day. I just think that while it may not be cheating, it certainly isn't good sportsmanship.

#1 Giveaway of the day

Glamour Girl Reviews has a giveaway for Windex Touch Up cleaner- ends tonight December 4, 2013.  I have watched the commercials but never tried this product. I think it sounds pretty cool. We certainly need some germ fighting here. Everyone has been so sick for weeks now and right now I have pneumonia.

Disclaimer: I get extra entries for sharing this giveaway with you.