Friday, February 15, 2013

Friday with no memes

This is the second week I haven't participated in any memes. I have been going through some things in my mind and just haven't felt like answering questions. Quick background, one of my former sister in law's sent me a message on Facebook wanting to know why I had a picture of her son on there. I told her my youngest wanted some picts of the family since shes currently in Texas and doesn't have any of family pictures. My sister in law responds back that as a I know her ex hadn't had any contact with the kids in over 28 yrs and they didn't want me posting pics. At first I was very very hurt. One because the picture was one from when they were together so if he wanted it he would have it, the boy is now full grown and she, the son and her daughter from another marriage all post pics of the boy and their pages aren't private so anyone that wanted could see them so it was like it was just me they didn't want to post. I had for the past 29 yrs thought of this woman as a friend, not a close friend but a friend none the less. I deleted the picture, blocked her from me on Facebook then I realized that I was tired of two faced people who aren't really friends. I have over 240 Facebook friends. Now some of them are actually friends obviously but some are people I only casually know and to be honest if we passed on the street we probably wouldn't speak to me. So I deactivated my Facebook. After a couple of days I felt way better. I didn't see it at the time but I was on overload. I don't really care what every has for dinner, when they are going shopping, cleaning house, etc. Facebook was great for catching up with people but honestly there is just too much sharing. I don't want to be in the drama of everyone's lives. I have people that are forever hinting this or that but never say who or what they mean. Now I don't miss it at all. I do miss the savings blogs but consider it a small price to pay for being free of the cycle.
Part 2 of the photo drama, - I was thinking in my mind how pathetic it was that my sister in law still has this drama going considering that my ex brother in law has moved on and honestly could care less. He isn't trying to get pictures of the kids, he isn't keeping up with what she does. Shes hanging on to a man that has already moved on. Then God used that to show me that I was guilty of the same thing. My ex boyfriend broke up with me over 2 years ago but I still have been holding on. No one wants to be the pathetic person so once I finally saw the light I knew it was time to let it all go. Yes, I still love him and probably always will. Its hard to stop loving someone when the only flaw you can think of is that they didn't love you. Its easier when you can look at how they didn't fit. But regardless, he didn't love me and now I am just letting go and letting God as they say :). I love how if we just let Him, God can use everything in our lives to help us out. There is a line in Genesis 50:20 that basically says "you meant it to hurt me, but God used it for good." My sister in law hurt my feelings but God used it for my own good. I may someday go back to Facebook but right now I can't really see it. I feel so much better emotionally without dealing with everyone's stuff.


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