Starting a new me.

I woke up today sick of my life. I am extremely fat, tired all the time, congested, my face is blotchy looking, I keep getting boils, my joints ache and just completely unattractive all the way around. I will be 40 four months from yesterday and I don't want to spend the next 40 years of my life like the first 40. I am going to start eating better, exercising more and enjoying life. Every single day I am going to do something that is good for me. I am tired of feeling ugly, unhappy and disgusting. I am going to post here every day so I will be holding myself accountable.
I am unhappy with my appearance, my family life, my housing situation and basically everything in my life. Its not going to change all by itself. I am going to have to work on fixing what I don't like.

my weekend

This post is days late but I havne't had the inclination to write lately. M and I went to WV for the weekend. We got up early on Saturday morning to go but didn't make it actually there until about 3pm. We stopped a couple times to see about getting nails done since she says she has an image to maintain there :). Finally found a place in Beckley to get them done. It was such a rip off. I paid $40 and she put nails barely longer than my own bitten off nails. The place wasn't at all clean. I won't ever go back.
We stopped at Bob Evans in Beckley to eat. I love that fried chicken breast with mashed potatoes they have and we don't really have a bob evans close to us here. I bought a sign while there to hang at work. It says " good morning, let the stress begin". Everyone at work got a kick out of it. I went a head and checked into my hotel since I wasn't sure what time I would be back over after visiting. I stayed at the Microtel Inn. It was only $52 a night and had a heated indoor pool. I found it a very pleasant place to stay. Loved the pool and my bed had the most comfortable pillows ever found on this planet I think, although the breakfast wasn't as much as other I have stayed at, basically it was juice, bagels or muffin.
Finally made it to old hometown around 3pm. Dropped M off at her friend's house and went to visit my friend Debbie. We had a good visit and Debbie enjoyed the stuff I had brought her. I took her some of the shopping deals I had gotten over the past year. She has a new mini pin and she was cute as a button. Her name was Molly and it didn't take her but a few minutes to warm up to me and want to get on my lap. We had a nice long chat. Went back down to pick up M so she could take me back to the hotel and her Jessica could go out to eat. I went swimming and read a bit while I waited on her to bring back the car so I could take them back home. I finally made it into bed around 1:30am. I didn't sleep well though for some reason.
Got up, ate a bagel and then headed out. I ran into an old friend who was a maid at the hotel and we talked for a couple minutes. It was nice to see her again. I bet I hadn't seen her in about 6 years. Stopped at CVS but they didn't open until 10am so went to Kroger to wonder around. Found some concord grapes there. I love those, I could eat my weight in concord grapes. I bought 2 packs. Then went by another CVS, still no nova max though. I did find a few bags of candy corn for 9cents. It was still early so went by the bridge and took a few pics and talked to some tourist. Then stopped at DQ for a blizzard. Went by the cemetary to visit with my grandmother who raised me and ran into a friend of the family who lives in florida and I hadn't seen since I was an adult. Found out my stepgrandmother had died and naturally no one had told anyone in our family. Finally back to get M so we could go to Franks for a calzone. Calzone wasn't as good as they used to be when I was a kid. Went back to hometown and ran into my other daughter who I haven't seen in years. (very long story about this). We took her back over to her dad's so we could see her baby. My ex wasn't thrilled to see me for some odd reason :) My granddaughter is 5 months old and so cute. I want her. I took a lot of pics. Then we went to get Jessica from her job and went by kmart so I could buy the baby a bunch of stuff. I got a couple of real cute pink furry outfits with coats, an elmo pant set, some onesies, pacifiers, teething ring and gel, an eyeore, a couple more outfits and some diapers. I got A a gift card for herself. Finally back to drop off Jessica and take the presents to the baby. I tried to talk A into moving out here and starting a new life. She wouldn't go for it so back to NC we headed. It was a great weekend though. I find myself wanting to move back though. I never thought that would happen.

over you

Just a little poem to get some of my feelings out.

Over you!!

When we met I thought you were awesome
my love grew like a blossem
but the more time passed
I knew this could't last
all I got from you was heart ache
everything about you was fake
I gave you my love and you threw it away
agony followed me all day
my nights were consumed with pain
my tears fell like rain
You made me so sad
but now I am glad
I am over you now but i bet
there will be many a day you look back and regret
looking into my eyes and lying to me
don't you wish my face you could see

breaking the addiction

I admit it. I am an addict. I have been spending almost every free moment I have playing pogo. I have spend $20 a month buying badges in my quest to get more and more badges. I am going to stop this. Thats money I need to get my crappy car fixed. I need to spend more time cleaning house and living a life.
I am also going by the bank Tuesday. I have been trying and trying to cancel my gym membership and no one will ever call me back so I am going to stop the automatic payments. I signed a 2 year contract, no one said they would keep taking money out after the 2 years were up. They kept saying well if I renewed my membership then the fees would be such and such an amount.
I went to Kernersville today and ran a few errands. Went to the library and Walgreen's. I got some Purell for nothing after the walgreen coupon and my mfg coupon. They had some real nice soy candles for $5.99 that were buy 1 and get 2 free so that worked out to $2 a piece. Went to Goodwill and got me some winter sweaters since I have no winter clothes that are in decent shape. I got a real pretty set of rooster canisters for $5 that I am going to give to one of my aunts for Xmas. I got a few books also.
Then I stopped at the library in Walkertown. They were having a book sale and this was the last day so you could fill a paper grocery bag with books for $5. I got 2 bags full. I got some cookbooks, a car manuel for mine and M's type car, a wide variety of cool books. Now I am going to need another bookcase :>.

6 hour Christians

I am not a christian nor do I claim to be one. I followed that path for a while but it didn't complete my soul so I found another fork in the road to travel along. But today I am going to bitch and complain about all the 6 hour christians in the world.

I went to Hardee's today (Walkertown) on my way home from Target. The place was packed and most of the people appeared to be on their way to church. They were dressed up and all that. There was a man in front of me that placed his order and when it was ready acted like a total and complete ass. He hands the hash rounds back to the clerk and says if thats all you are going to offer you can keep this since you are in such bad need for them. Fact 1) the entire meal was less than $4- how damn much food are you going to get in a fast food joint for $4. Fact 2) the bag was completely full to the top of hash rounds- this would have been more than a single hash brown from Mickey D's.

I just thought now how many people in here think he is going to church since both he and his wife were dressed up. What is the point of going to church to be a 6 hour christian. A six hour christian is one who follows God and does the whole what would Jesus do thing for 6 hours a week. 2 hours Sunday morning, 2 hours Sunday evening and 2 hours on Wednesday. I remember from when I was in church that you are supposed to conduct yourself in such a fashion that people can tell you are a christian. Had that clerk been the pastor of that man's church would he still have handed back those hash rounds and made the same comment?

How many people who like to call themselves christians act like asses out in public and on the highways? There are ways to handle bad service or incorrect handlings without acting like most of the 6 hour Christians do. I see them talking to and treating clerks and cashiers like shit in stores, cutting people off and not following the laws for driving, I would make the statement that 90% of the church congregations today are 6 hour christians and if you met them in day to day life you couldn't tell them from the so called sinners. Why bother spending 6 hours a week, 28 hours a month, 312 hours a year in church if you aren't going to follow the teachings of the bible and act like it says you should if thats how you believe? If there is a heaven and a hell then I doubt you are going to see any 6 hour Christians in heaven.

fall back

Well time finally went back an hour. I don't like the way they decided to move it earlier and further back. Its almost pitch black now when I get up. I didn't think they were ever going to change it back. I have gotten some really good deals this weekend. By doing the CVS deal I have saved over $300 in the past 2 days. I have mostly bought every day items that I won't now need to purchase. I got 5 packs of the 12 double roll tp, 9 or 10 boxes of tampons, a couple bags of maxi pads, a few first aid supplies and assorted kitchen stuff. We also got some extras to take to WV when we go in a couple weeks for M's friend who lives way way below poverty level. I am going to find somewhere to donate most of these blood sugar monitors. I am keeping one for myself and giving D one or 2 of them.
One of the guys at work got hurt Friday. I had to take him to the dr. He was off his lift in a place he shouldn't have been and got hit by another lift. It did some damage to his lower legs. But it looked like just bruises. I will check first thing in the morning and see how hes doing. There are very good reasons that job sites have rules and even when they seem stupid you should still follow them because most of the rules were created after someone had an accident or near miss.
I have gotten some really good clearance items after Halloween. I got a Budda for just 62 cents, black and orange candles and other items. I am going to redo the house today and set up an altar finally. I think that will be a huge leap in my belief system and help me be more grounded. I will post pics when I get it set up.

CVS deal

CVS is willing to give you $100 worth of merchandise. They have a deal this week that the nova glucose machine on sale for $29.99 and you get a $20 ecb for each one you buy. Limit is 5. In the pharmacy they have diabetic books that have coupons in them for $50 off the nova glucose machine. They adjust your coupon to the $29.99 sale price so you pay nothing but tax and you buy 5 and get $100 in ECB back. I did mine one at a time so I would only get $20 back but I combined them with a $10 off 50 coupon and was able to get stuff that was free with ecb so I got my bucks back and some of the stuff had rebates so I could turn it into cash. I also stocked up on stuff we needed like toilet paper, detergent and trash bags. If you did get them all at once and got the $100 ecb you can buy some pretty neat gift items for xmas for free.

day at the zoo

Well I completed another one of my 101 in 1001 items. Went to the zoo with my sister and her kids. Took M with me. We had a great time and I took tons of pics. I put all the pics up on my myspace page but will post a few of my favorites here. I think next year I will join as a member so I can go all the time for free. It was a great workout. We walked for about 5 hours straight. Of course I am sore from the hips down now. They have a lot of things for the kids to do there.

someone couldn't read apparently

My one true love

I loved the scarlett Ibis and took a bunch of pics of them. Here is one up close and personal.

The boys and myself on one of the many statues throughout the park

the lions wanted to sleep

Nabopomo

I joined a web site called Nablopomo. Basically you agreee to post every day in November and put your blog in a list with everyone else. There are almost 3000 users right now. I found out about it while surfing someone else's blog. I really need to put some time into my blog and add my links back that got deleted when I changed formats.
It has finally stopped raining. We got at least 8 inches over the last 3 days. I know it was needed but I am tired of it. I woke up feeling bad with a stuffy nose and I am sure its because of the cooler weather.
A guy I was going out with last year called me up out of the blue last night. We talked a while but I know hes only wanting one thing and I am too tired of being used to accomodate him.

Friday Feast

Appetizer
Name a great website you would recommend to others.
Pogo.com

Soup
On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 as highest), how often do you dream at night?
9

Salad
Did you have a pet as a child? If so, what kind and what was its name?
cats and dogs both. I really only remember a couple of poodles I had. 1 named Odie and one named April.

Main Course
If you had the chance to star in a commercial, what would you choose to advertise?
vacation getaways

Dessert
What is your favorite kind of hard candy?
cinnamon red hots

Rain blessed rain

Well it has finally started raining in NC. It's now rained for over 24 hours. Its not all the rain we need but its a hell of a lot more than we had gotten for months. Greensboro, Durham and many other places were counting down the days until they would have no water so this should help a lot. Now if it would just rain in California. The fires still haven't been contained and thousands of acres have burned. They say it will be over a billion dollars in damages.
I finally got my spooky slots badge in Pogo. I am glad that game is done until next halloween. Now I am working on a badge in bowling. I hate bowling but at least its not a certain score. I only have to knock down the silver pins.
I had to do some laundry today. Found a bunch of coupons at CVS for b1g1 free 20oz vaults. I got a handful and got me 4 berry vaults for the price of 2. Coke apparently doesn't make berry vault in 2 liters. That shit is the bomb though, I have so much energy when I drink vault.
M didn't work today because her wipers quit working and she couldn't see to drive in the rain.

Monday

Work actually wasn't too bad. No crisis for a change. We did get into the dreaded politics talk yet again at work. I try to avoid these as I am about the only democrat that works there. Politics is just one of those areas where people dig their heels in. Natually they started spouting christians values at me. I told them I wasn't a christian so why would I vote according to christian values. Also while scanning some files to the shared drive, when I went in to rename the files I saw a bunch of files sitting there. I thought they were some that J had scanned before I started helping her so I was going to rename them and put them in the right folder. Turns out they were resumes for operations manager. None of us even had a clue they were looking for an ops manager. Now I wonder if its for our warehouse or the other warehouse. I hate not knowing whats happening.
I was so tired when I came home though that basically I haven't done anything but play on the Internet. I need to do laundry and dishes but I get so tired of cleaning house. Going to watch a new episode of Girlfriends tonight though.

pg rating

turns out my blog is pg rated.

Musuem of Anthropolgy

I started the day out exhausted. I didn't sleep well and my cablemodem wasn't working. I had to call and make a payment on my account. They always say they haven't cut my account off but every time a payment is due the account stops working and within minutes of my paying it works. Then I went to my aunt's to help her move. I had to wait an hour as they were not at home. I only helped about an hour and it was time to leave so I could go to the musuem.

I read online they were having a Day of the Dead exhibit at the Musuem of Anthropolgy. After I got there it seemed it was mostly for kids but it was still pretty cool. It compares to Samhaim in my opinion. I love the idea of an altar to remember your departed. They had a little buffet of Mexican food out. I decorated a sugar skull and made a picture card of an altar. They were having a clearance table with some pretty cool stuff. I got a river rock from the Ganges with a butterfly on it. I also got some presents to give to a few of the kids in the family. I got a couple of copper bracelets for $1 a piece. They aren't pure copper of course. I wanted to upload the pictures here but blogger kept having an error so I put them on photobucket to paste here. We had a pretty good time though. I will be going back to get more stuff later. The woman at the counter said they have a sale around Thanksgiving and the gifts were all pretty unique.



My altar card
My butterfly stone from the Ganges River(its a lot prettier than this picture looks)

The jumping frogs are for Justin (hes 4) the peg games are for (Daniel, Taylor and myself) the flute is for Nick, the kimino notepad is for Jade as is one of the hanging charms. I also got a silver fertility goddess, and another silver image. I know its an Indian goddess but for the life of me I can't remember right now.

my sugar skull. She was a lot cuter before M got her face messed up with a purse strap.

Long time no see

Its been forever since I posted. I haven't been busy just stressed out. I swear it seems like my job gets more stressful on a daily basis. It used to be problems where the exception now they are the norm. Been doing nothing but pogo. I am getting way up there in badges though. I found one of those cheat programs for the puzzles and they took paypal so it never even cost me anything and there are all kinds of badge for the jigsaws. Yeah I know its cheating but so what. Still trying to get enough money to move out. I can't stand living here with M anymore. Still trying to get R out of my life not that its working. I have to help my aunt move tomorrow. I think thats 4 moves this year. Thats pretty low for them, of course it is only October so they can catch up with other years.
Finally found an old friend from back home on myspace. I found out she and her husband where divorcing. I never thought that would happen. Not that they had a good marriage but she was so trusting of him, I never thought she would see he was an ass. Turns out he had been cheating with the neighbor for months.
Went to the dr finally. My triglycerides are up and she has given me 3 months to get them down. She put me on an anti-inflammatory for my arthritis. Last month I had this disease known as MRSA. Now this month its all over the news as a superbug that kills people. Glad I didn't know then.

much needed update

I can't believe its been so long since I posted last. Most of that is because this computer is slow as shit. Life is pretty much the same. Same boyfriend, same job. I did get my car fixed finally. 4 months broke down and it was a stupid $30 part is all. I have lost 12 lbs. Gotten a small raise and I am moving into a place of my own. I feel its time my daughter and I live apart.
I took 2 days off after Labor Day so that makes me 5 in a row. I don't think I have ever had 5 days off in a row since I started working. I need to call the doctor tomorrow. I have several knots under my left arm pit. I think they are like boils or abcesses but they hurt and its worrying none the less. I am going to update my 101 things in 1001 days today also.

New start

I have decided that R needs to leave my life. In the 6 weeks he has been back, I have been mostly miserable. It seems like everything that could go wrong has. My car has been broke down about 26 out of the last 30 days, the well stopped working, I got turned down for a loan, work has started to frustrate me again, insurance went up. I know none of that is his fault but he doesnt make any of it better. He wants a friend he can have sex with when he feels like it and ignore the rest of the time. I am not wanting that kind of relationship at all. He works 2 jobs and when he is off work he isn't with me. There is nothing for me in that relationship.
Thankfully someone came out and fixed the well yesterday. Some wires had broke in half. But now the cold water in the back half of the trailer is very very slow. I checked my credit report as part of my getting back on track and about everything on there comes off December of 2008. So I am thinking March of 2009, I will buy a trailer. I want to buy a piece of land next year and start getting it ready for the trailer. By March, I will be able to put the land up and some money down for the trailer and I will have 3 years of solid on time payments on my student loans and 2 years on my target card. I can finally see everything starting to come together.

long time no post

I can't believe how long its been since I posted. R is still in my life some days are ok and some days aren't. We went to the races in Wytheville last night. The race was fun but the ride up wasn't. R now has a place of his own so I don't see him as much. Work has been very busy and I am hoping everything goes ok for the next week. My boss is on vacation and anything thats export related means I am going to have to deal with it.
On a positive note, I have started walking again and I am down 10lbs now. I am sort of following the adkins diet but not to strict right now. My car is broke down again. I am so tired of that. I guess I am going to have to get a loan and get it fixed once and for all.

Beginning of Summer.

Its been very slow at work so this week has passed like a snail. My car has died completely. I think its the fuel pump. It hasn't started since Monday. I am going to have to call my mechanic friend to see if he can fix it next weekend. I don't have the money to get it towed and buy the part and pay him also.
I have long suspected my landlord's secretary doesn't like me. This week confirms it. I went to pay the rent and we were talking about it being so hot. I said something about melting, she goes "like the wicked witch of the west". Now if someone was a friend that would have been funny but since we aren't it wasn't.
Alli was a waste of my money. I took them faithfully and so did my aunt and neither of us lost any weight. I have started walking at the park again though and am now down a total of 9 lbs in 2 weeks. I had to dye my hair again. I had much gray happening. Now I am going to see if cousin S can restreak it.
Went to 311 Speedway last night. I saw Austin Dillon win a race. That is Richard Childress' grandson. He is pretty good so expect to see him in Nascar. 311 is a dirt track and I bet I had 6lbs of clay dirt on me and in my hair.
R is still around messing up my life. There are a lot of days I wonder why I do things to myself that I do.
Summer solstice came and went and I did no form of celebration. Anymore I feel like I am drifting and not really existing in any fashion.
I found some cleaner at Dollar General for baked on stuff on dishes. That stuff is the bomb. I had a glass baking dish that I had barbequed in . I had soaked it, used a brillo pad and scrapped it with a fork and it wouldn't come clean. I bought that stuff not really expecting it to work but it did like a charm. I even sprayed it on some of the metal parts of the stove with backed on stuff and it wiped right off. Love this product.

Another week

Monday- First day that J was gone from the office. I made it through with no problems.
Tuesday- Out of the blue a guy from the past showed up. I should have acted like I wasnt home but no I just had to let him in. This is the one I regret most out of all the losers I have dated. But he had no where to go and I am an idiot who can't seem to stop letting people hurt me.
Wednesday- Same shit different day.
Thursday- See above.
Friday- Thankfully J will be back Monday but I made it through the week without any major screwups I think. I also got a .75 raise per hour. Not as much as I hoped but better than nothing. CAlled and talked to best friend in WV.
Saturday- Bought some Alli to try and lose weight. Went to movies to see knocked up. I must be getting old because it was funny but I just kept thinking there was too much cussing. Mistake is still here and having the nerve to complain my pain is keeping him from sleeping. I have lost 7lbs though in the past couple weeks.

Another week gone by

Well this week flew by. I guess thats why I don't really remember specific days. I do know my knee hurt this whole week. The quadracept muscle above and the calf muscle below were tight and swollen. I am finally able to walk without limping but at odd moments the knee gives out on me. I still have a knot below the knee to the right. Fat people with bad knees shouldn't be kneeling on concrete for any reason.
&nspb Cousin S called and we are supposed to go to her house this evening and play the trivial pursuit game we got last weekend at the Goodwill. One good thing, the feral cat is some better. He is now using both back legs and only one of them is limping. I think perhaps its dislocated but of course I can't catch him to see.
My BF called last night to tell me a very good friend's husband dropped dead with a massive heart attack. She is so devestated. She was totally wrapped up in her husband. I just feel so bad for her. I will have to email her today to let her know I am thinking of her.
Yesterday was an incredibly beautiful day. I did maybe 10 loads of laundry and hung them out to dry because it was so sunny. I cleaned out the little room I use for storage and got rid of lots of crap. I had a tin box that had tax forms for my ex and myself and we have been apart for 11 years now. I am slowly getting a handle on the clutter. I even finally got my summer comforter out and washed it up and put it on the bed. I slept so much better too because its much lighter weight than the other one. I mowed about half the grass last night.

End of week update

I am noticing a trend on my updates lately. Its a once a week thing apparently.
Monday- went to a cook out at Aunt J's house. Both her kids and their kids were there so it was quite crowded. We are thinking of raising some angora goats and also planting some blueberries. She has 4 acres but you can't really attach your wagon to her because she changes her mind frequently. Although I will probably end up doing something like that myself anyway. I would like to have a few chickens, goats and bees. I would also like to do a garden big enough to be self sufficient and perhaps have some left overs to sell.
Tuesday- had to go to the recertification calls for CPR and AED. I don't mind learning and was glad that it was free but it wasn't fair that I couldn't get out of it. Especially when I get to the class and found out that someone else who was supposed to take it did get out of it without getting in trouble. My knees have been hurting all week because the floors at the Red Cross were concrete and we had to kneel for about an hour on them to do CPR on the dummies. Not good for arthritic knees.
Wednesday- pretty blank here. Work was not busy so I worked in a few different departments to fill time.
Thursday- Back to Red Cross for blood borne pathogens class. No test but a group study thing.
Friday- total blank
Saturday- Went to Aunt B to visit with her and my cousin M who was up from TN visiting. Tried to go by the thrift store to get my desk I bought 3 weeks ago but they weren't open for some reason. Picked up DD and went to the Goodwill. I spent $15 there and got some books, games, a few knick knacks. DD spent $27 and got a bunch of stuff. Went to Rainbow and got a dress outfit to wear to work. Whole outfit was only $22. Knee has been killing me all day and muscles above the knee are tight as crap. Got home and one of the feral cats outside that I feed but am not allowed to touch has been hurt. I think he got hit by a car but its been enough time that he wasn't in pain. Both his back legs are broke. He is getting around by dragging his body. He acted like it didn't bother him. I am not sure what to do. The stuff I planted last weekend has started sprouting. My poppies are full of little sprouts and the thyme has sprouted but thats all so far.
Sunday- It hasn't rained in over 2 weeks but apparently some tropical storm in the ocean has cause that to change. It started raining about 2 am and its still lightly sprinkling 12 hours later. The farmers should be happy about that. I have spent most of the day in bed on and off. I have noticed for some reason the last 4 or 5 months that on the first day of that time that I am incredibly tired and sleep a lot. This is a new development because it used to not have any apparent effects on me. Maybe because I am older now.

Let me win

DD and I planted some flowers and herbs today and did a lot of yard work. I have a bunch of small logs that the power line cutters left behind. They would make great firewood but since I don't have a woodburner I am trying to think what I can use them for.
Here is a really cool site to win an awesome purse. Last year I entered contests all the time and won something about once a month. For some odd reason I quit doing that. I would like to start again.

Homesteading

You will notice I have added some more blog links. I have been surfing homesteading blogs. I think thats what I would like to save enough to be able to do. I remember when I was a little girl making my own vinegar following a recipe from the Foxfire series. I used to always read the Mother Earth magazines too. I wonder how I got so far from that dream. Perhaps I am really too lazy for true homesteading but I would like to become more self sufficient. I am going to see how close I can get to this dream.

Another week gone by

Saturday we had my cousin's daughter for most of the day. We ate at the Olive Garden and shopped at the mall. Got a bunch of earrings, hair scrunchies and something called a pony flip. I used to have one and lost it ages ago. Its a simple plastic piece but I never had luck recreating it on my own. Anyway it was only $3 so I got 2 since I had wanted one forever. Finally we took T home. A couple hours later we get a call that T's mom and the mom's bf had been in a car wreck. I had to go to the hospital to get them. I got lost twice, I hate big hospitals. But thankfully they were ok. The wife of one of the guys from work was in a head on wreck the same night and she was a lot more seriously injured. She will be ok though.
I am still driving on the same $42 gas but I have seriously cut back on driving. I am doing way better at being frugal though. I only ate out twice this week for lunch. Next week I am going to be more prepared and take lunch daily.
I heard yesterday that congress voted to raise the minimum wage by over $2. I think thats a good thing but I do wonder about the mom and pop places, gas is already hurting these places.
I chose not to go to the family reunion. There were just too many memories of people who have passed on and won't be there for me to be able to enjoy it. M did not get a car for various reasons so she wasn't able to go to WV either. She claims she is getting one with her next pay check and then going in the next weekend. With this week's challenges and a couple of rank badges, I finally have over 100 badges in Pogo. I have completed all the challenge badges in payday freecell so think I will move onto Mahjong challenges. I love that game so should be fun.

Weekly update

One of the women in the office just graduated with an associates in networking. I am going to get a little cake and take in Monday. We didn't do anything for her and it just seems like we should. She says she isn't going to find another job though. Seems pointless to have gotten the degree if you aren't going to use it. I got a bit annoyed today at work. Last year I signed up to be a first aid provider under the previous employers. They sent a notice about going for recertification a couple days ago and I realized its not something I want to do anymore. Well unless I just act like a total ass I am stuck with it this year. Its not like you get paid anymore for doing it. I have told them to not put me in for training next year that I wasn't interested for sure.
I filled my car up this evening and it cost $42. I have never spent that much for gas even when I had a big 8 cylinder car. They can say all they want that high gas prices won't affect people driving but it sure affects me. I can't afford $40 a week for gas. I am going to stop paying for tanning at the gym and tell them I won't be renewing my membership. I am looking for every little way possible to save money. I dont think I am going to the family reunion. I don't want to be up there 2 days when I am only off 3 and I can't justify the cost of gas to go up and back in one day. I would like to see Debbie and a few others but I doubt its going to happen.
I got a tracfone tonight at family dollar. They had some that were $9 but I got one that was $30 because its a flip phone. I like tracfone because I always got service about everywhere when I used my other one.
My sister sent me a link to get some tokens for pogo. If anyone plays, the site is http://www.badgeaddicts.com/freetokens.html. I got 400000 tokens tonight putting me over 1 million finally.

Weekly update

Well the parts that David put on the car didn’t fix it. Sometimes it still won’t start although it does seem to start more often so that lets out going to the gym before work. I think this week though I am going to start to go after work 3 days a week. That way I can just wait until it feels like starting. I did go to curves 3 x this week and went to the park and walked last night. I have tried to be more active and eat a bit less. I have lost 4 lbs since last weekend. So that is in line with my 3lb goal.

Work has been the usual mess. The switcher some how managed to put a Cheetah box in the door and said it was an MOL box so it had to be unloaded and redone. Then for some reason on Wednesday they fired one of the truck loaders. I haven’t heard anyone say why. I am now doing the shipment information for all of IO. So far so good. I am thinking about raises in July and I think if I don’t get at least $1 I am going to quit even if I have to take a lesser paying job. I was told that if we all picked up the extra work instead of them having to hire someone, that we would get better raises. The least they could have hired someone at would have been $10 so I think they should in all fairness give us at least $1.50 raises.

Still no car for Mandi. We haven’t really looked. My cousin sent me an email today with a pic of her new engagement ring. Its beautiful. I hope they are very happy always. We went to Mayfest today and wandered. I found the cutest wicker desk set for $50 for the desk and chair. I paid half as a deposit and will send Mandi on Tuesday I think to pick it up . On the way back it started to rain. We got drenched since we had walked from my aunt’s house to the festival. We looked like drowned rats. As soon as we got back we drove straight home so we could change clothes. My aunt has met a man online she wants to go out with so now she is dragging me along because he wanted her to bring a friend for his friend. I figured I wasn’t doing anything anyway and how bad could it be. Its only one night. I think next Friday is the date.

diet

I got up this morning and weighed myself. I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life. I am so totally disgusted. Today is the beginning of a new phase for me. I want to lose 129 lbs. That is 338 days away. So roughly I need to lose a lb every 3 days to make my goal. Hopefully David can get my car fixed today and I am can start going to the gym every day before work. I do better if I exercise first thing. I am also going to have a protein shake for breakfast every morning. I am not hungry midmorning if I have one early. This is the absolute end. I am tired of being fat and I sure as heck don’t want to be 40 and fat.

Stupidity

I went to Target tonight and saw the cutest T-Mobile cell phone on clearance. I bought it since I had needed another cell for a while now. I also got a cd player on clearance for about $14. I have wanted one for a long time now since my computer cd player quit working. Anyway when I go to check out they said I was pre approved for a Target card. I went ahead and got it since I considered it another step in repairing my credit. You have to use credit to rebuild credit. I leave Target quite happy about the deals I got. I get home and charge up the cell phone and go to activate it. T-Mobile doesn’t have phone service in NC, so why the hell does Target sell the phones?

On a good note, I got my cd player working and am now listening to Book of Shadows cd by Zack Wyld. God he is so talented.

I did it

Today makes 30 straight days blogging so thats another thing off my 101 things list. I will still blog but not as frequently.

I did get up today and do a mile with one of the walking tapes. But work was a mess just like it has been for the past 3 days all because of one trucking company. I hope how soon we stop using them.

Family dinner

Tried to sleep in today because I was so tired. I don’t know why but I felt as though I hadn’t slept for a year. Finally got to stirring and did a few things. Check the mail and happily my income taxes were there. I am getting my car fixed next weekend. Also got an invite in there for a friends baby shower next weekend. Of course that is the day I am supposed to get my car worked on.

My aunt called and invited us up for dinner. There was aunt 1 and her granddaughter, aunt 2, her husband and her mother in law and me and Mandi. Dinner was way later than normal. We had mashed potatoes, boiled cabbage, green beans, stuff chicken breasts, macaroni and cheese and some kind of brown rolls. I didnt like the chicken but everything else was really good. Went to see the house aunt 1 is buying, its pretty but I would have stayed in the first place since its paid for and the second place is twice what she paid for the first.

Busy Saturday

I told me self all week long that I was going to sleep in today because I have just felt exhausted this whole week. Naturally I was awake before 7am. I tried to resist but couldn’t fall back asleep so I got up. So far today I have done 3 loads of laundry and hung one of them on the line to dry. I do so love the sight of clothes blowing in the wind on a line drying. I need to do that more often, one because it lightens my heart and 2 so I can save money and gas not having to go to the laundromat. Of course I will have to buy a new line since mine snapped and broke in half. I have done 3 loads of dishes, cleaned out a filing cabinet that apparently was only used to store junk in and not filing. I am going to take it to the dump since its in bad shape anyway. I am trying to declutter and have less stuff. I made a huge bowl of diet jello and a pot of fresh brewed tea.

I have tried to do some form of exercise every day and I have only munched on diet popcorn with butter spray on it. So far this week I have lost 5 lbs. I am sure most of it is water weight but I don’t care as long as the scale is going down. I am using the hand weights I bought daily and trying to move more so its more cardio. I am going to finish the yard mowing today and walk at the park. I have to take the other 2 loads of laundry to the laundromat and take off a load of garbage also.

I have finished up my weekly pogo challenges. I like pogo because its mindless and relaxes me. I did feel guilty about it but I have been reading a book about being happier and less stressed and it said that every day we need to take a mini vacation doing whatever relaxes us. Pogo works for me so who cares that I am not doing anything productive.

Mandi and I went out to eat at the Chinese place. I got the crab legs as usual. Now she is off to walmart because she is bored.

WEirdos

I am giving up on dating entirely. Its bad enough I meet losers in real life now some freak I was talking to online seems to be a stalker. He keeps calling and leaving hateful messages and I am pretty sure he called my job today. I think that he tried to follow me home from work today but I took several side roads and lost him. Why can’t I just meet someone normal and decent. Its not like I am asking for a millionaire model type.

Thursday

When I got home today I didn’t have any Internet connection. I realized I had forgotten to send in the bill. My phone runs off Internet also so couldn’t call. I went to a pay phone and they said they hadn’t cut it off but I paid over the phone anyway. By the time I drove home surprisingly enough the internet was working. How convenient.

Work has been screwed up for 2 days now due to trucking issues. I will be so glad when the weekend gets here. I am exhausted. I did manage to mow half the yard and do dishes today.

Crazy Family

I think my family is addicted to moving. I’ve got one aunt thats moved at least 8 times in the past 2 years and the other aunt has moved 3 times since August. She just bought a place and had a ton of work done to it and now wants to sell it to the first aunt. I think they are crazy. I hate moving and can’t wait until I own a place and can plant what I want and decorate it anyway I want. I will never move once I own a place.

Pictures

My sister sent some old pics of me that they had scanned up. I don’t even remember any of them. Here are a couple. One is my grandmother and the other is me and one of my cousins.

Happy Dance

I got my daughter’s car fixed. And the guy looked at mine and said he thinks its the fuel regulator so its probably going to be about a hundred to get that fixed but thats about all thats wrong with my car. It was an absolutely beautiful day today. Unfortunately I have to go back into the hell hole tomorrow.

Happy Anniversary to Me

Today would have been my 23rd wedding anniversary if we hadn’t gotten a divorce. Normally I don’t even think about but for some reason today I was remember how I felt back then. I was so happy, scared and in love I thought. As more and more time goes by there are more days I regret not working harder to make it work. Sometimes you just get tired of always fighting and never having what you need.

Job Hunting

I have officially made up my mind that I am job hunting. I am going to start spending at least 1 hour a day looking for another job. I deal with way too much stress and responsibility at work for too little pay. I have always known that I make less than anyone else in the office even though I have more responsibility but I didn’t realize how much less until now. Even the fork lift drivers make as much as I do. I don’t mind working for the money if I wasn’t expected to do so much. They keep adding to my job description without adding to my check. Its time to move on.

I hate cars

My daughter’s car died today. I think the starter went out on it. Then my car started acting up. Its like I can’t win for losing. I am so tired of being so broke that if I miss one day of work I am going to be homeless. I just don’t know how you can work every day and not spend money like water but stay broke all the time. I have honestly tried to implement the law of attraction principles but its just like the universe slams me everytime I try to convince myself good things are going to happen. I overcome one thing and 2 more happen. Hopefully the car will run when I have to go get my daughter from her job at midnight.

Hello

I sat up until almost 1am last night reading the latest Dick Francis novel. It was pretty good but somehow it didn’t seem like a true Dick Francis novel. I woke up at 6:30 full of energy and was in a good mood all day until about an hour before I got off work. There is a new aspect to my job that started today and it started with a bang and I am not sure its anything I want to have to deal with on a daily basis. I get tired of dealing with crisis after crisis. Maybe I need to get serious about job hunting.

At least the weather was nicer. It was in the 70’s and sunny today. Absolutely lovely.

The Day After

Well it seems that a lone gunman who was a student at VA tech is responsible. He was a student from Korea. At this time no reasoning why he did it. My question though is why when students were killed in a dorm at 7am and a shooter not found did they hold classes that day? I am sure there will be law suits out of this. I think it was very poor thinking on the part of the administration. I am not racists but I was offended on my way into work today by a radio station I listen to. They were talking about a young black male who was one of the victims killed and acted like he should have been above dying. I think none of the students deserved to die regardless of the color of their skin. I don’t think its more a tragedy that one died than another.

Aside from all that it wasn’t a pleasant day at work. I have spent the past week trying to get test results back on some product I needed to ship tomorrow. I kept trying to find out because cancelling after a certain time involves charges. Naturally they wait until after 3pm to cancel all 3 loads so we ended up with charges for 2 of the containers. I don’t know why they can’t get it together and decided stuff a little faster.

Tragic Monday

It finally quit raining but the wind started. The wind has been so fierce that power lines and tress are down all over the place. At least 2 towns near me are without power. Thankfully I have no been affected. One of the guys at work who has several greenhouses on his property, said that the roof blew off one of the greenhouses this morning. He was going home to see if he could save the plants in there. It was a beautiful sunny day and would have been great except for the wind.

There was a horrible occurance in Blacksburg VA today. Someone went a killing rampage at the college and killed 32 people. The gunman is dead and as far as I know acted alone. I just don’t understand what motivates someone to kill perfect strangers.

Rainy Sunday

It has rained for almost the entire past 24 hours. I don’t like to go places when its raining like this so I am stuck home. I guess the not going anywhere relates back to the major flood we had in WV a few years back and I lost almost everything I owned. I like to be home when its flooding so I can get my stuff if I have to. Having to swim in flood waters was the most scary thing I have ever done that I can think of. I guess I will spend the day blog surfing. I have found some really cool blogs and added them to my links. I am also trying to get my blog traffic up just because I like seeing the stats. On that note I joined Technorati Profile.

On a positive note my sister got a computer so we can talk again. She has been off line for almost 2 months now.

Saturday

I did my taxes and my daughter’s. I was quite happy because I had briefly went and did them mentally a couple months ago and thought my daughter owed $700 when in actuality she is getting back almost that much. My refund is smaller only $300 but still better than paying. Maybe we can take a little vacation between us when we get the money back.

I found out that there is a recall on Listernine Cool Blue Rinse. Naturally I have that here. (find out more at http://www.agentcoolblue.com/) Whats up with all these recalls for contaminated products. The rinse I had here is months old but still affected so now what if I had used it instead of having it in the cabinet. Lets not forget the peanut butter one that affected product for the last 2 years even. Who do they think has this stuff and doesn’t use it. Why aren’t they finding out sooner and telling us sooner.

Peeping Tom

I love reading blogs. I love reading how people spend their time and what they are thinking. I guess that makes me a peeping tom. Everyone has such interesting lives. People are such fascinating creatures in the things they do, the way they behave and how they treat each other. Humans are supposed to be so evolved and at the top of the chain but you don’t see animals treating each other the way humans do. The best human behaviors are carried out in nature but the worst aren’t so doesn’t that mean we are the bottom of the chain instead?

Rape Prevention Tips

It turned out to be a beautiful day today. Sunny and breezy and in the 70s. Work was work. Someone at work sent me these tips and I thought I would share them.

Through a Rapist’s Eyes (No Joke)

This is important information for females of ALL ages .

Please pass it along.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair . Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly . Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00a.m. and 8:30a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two: is office parking lots/garages. Number three: is public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas , or
other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following
behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question , like what time is it, or make general small talk: “I can’t believe it is so cold out here,” “we’re in for a bad winter.” Now you’ve seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you , hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you , you can’t beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can
stand it - it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he’s out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible .. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings , take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!

You may feel a little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

1 Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans . If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM Toss it away from you….chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4.Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.

B) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

boring day

Its been rainy and dismal all day long. Work wasn’t bad, I even got to leave early. I had to go to the laundromat and the grocery store. I was out of soy milk for my daily shakes. I was down another .8 of a lb today. I wish weight went away as fast and as easy as it comes.

Day 10

I did not make it to the gym today. I was way too tired. I can’t seem to fall asleep at night and stay asleep. I am going to really try again in the morning though because I can tell my efforts are starting to pay off. I have lost 7 lbs since the beginning of the month.

Work was very hectic today. It started slow but I had to go downtown for a meeting with International Operations that ended up lasting 3 hours. I came back to a ton of work and spent the rest of the day playing catchup. I stayed 30 minutes late even.

It reached 60 degrees today. I will be glad when its back in the 80s like week before last. I don’t like being cold. For those who care it was announced today that Larry Birkhead was the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby.

I did it

I managed to get up at 5:30 and took myself off to the gym. I didn’t want to get up at all. I got there and did 25 minutes on the treadmill at a 3% incline. It was just over a mile and burned just over 200 calories. Naturally after I got done the stupid car wouldn’t start. I had to go back inside and call work to say I was going to be late and call Mandi to come pick me up. Before she got there the car started though so I went on to work. I was 8 minutes late. I did feel much better physically and mentally all day though. It was nice and slow most of the day and then at 3:00 the gates of hell opened up and everything started to happen.

I am drinking my nightly protein shake then I am going to bed since I am so tired. I hope I sleep well since I spent most of last night tossing and turning then got up so early. I am going back again in the morning. Hopefully the car won’t be an issue again.

My Birthday

Happy Birthday to me. I am 39 today. I hope that the next 39 are better than the last 39 have been. We went to my aunts for Easter dinner. She had the prettiest double tulips I have ever seen. I took pictures but I can’t upload on this computer. I guess I will have to crack down and see if I can get mine fixed. I took pictures of the dinner also. We had a good time.

I got a free 11 card reading from Tarot.com for my birthday. I asked it if I would find real love in the next year and got a lot of stuff back that I didnt think pertained to the question at all. The last couple of cards maybe did. My aunt gave me an african violet for my birthday. Mandi gave me a tulip picture. Not the worst birthday I have ever had. I think my biggest birthday desire would be to be in a mutually caring mature relationship with a partner who fits the goals I have described.

Then my cousins little girl kept calling wanting to come spend the night but I told her no because the last time she stayed she had a crying fit and wanted to go home. I had to drive her home at 2am in the freezing cold and ended up having an asthma attack. She was warned then of the consequences of her actions and choose to keep on. I think at 9 she is able to decide how to act.

Gym

I managed to get up and go to the gym today. Its been months since I went. I signed up to tan at 7am all next week so that way I will be motivated to go work out. I did 20 minutes on the treadmill and 7 on the elliptic trainer. Its not my all time best but not bad considering how long its been since I worked out. My aunt called today to see if I was interested in renting to own her sister in law’s trailer. Its a 4 bedroom 2 bath for $550 a month for 20 years. I was excited about it until I figured out that was over $130000 for a used trailer so now I think I am going to have to pass. I really wanted to own some place to but I am just going to save up and find another rent to own deal. If I am paying that much I want a place thats more what I want. That place is on a dirt road, no cable or cable modem there at all.

How to behead Champagne

I know I am boring and don’t have a life but some days I wonder about people. I came across this link http://www.wikihow.com/Open-a-Champagne-Bottle-with-a-Sword You have to be pretty darn bored to spend time opening champagne bottles with swords. I guess it takes all kinds. I certainly don’t want some drunk waving a sword around trying to open bottles and gutting the guests while he is doing it.

George Clooney

The biggest news around here is that George Clooney was in Tobaccoville yesterday filming parts for his movie Leathernecks. Naturally I found out about this today and not yesterday when he was here.

At work they treated me to applebees for lunch in honor of my birthday. I go the chicken broccoli alfredo. They are so stingy with the sauce we always get extra and its still not enough. My boss got me a basket with violets and greenery in it. Its quite pretty. I love the violets. My coworker got me a bag with a yard flag in it since she knows I have been decorating up lately, some of my drink mixes from walmart, a candle and a stand for the flag plus a balloon. Its was a good day and naturally with the balloon everyone knew it was my birthday.

Kitchen Sink Soup

Today was a better day at work. It was busy as all get out but I didn’t have to deal with anyone’s attitudes today. I am hoping to get off early tomorrow though so I can call about that other job I read about in the paper. There aren’t that many days that are good enough that I would want to stay there if I can find a way out.

I think Mandi has realized I am dead serious about her moving out. She has cleaned house the last 2 days. That is my biggest complaint about her living here is that I do everything and I do mean everything. She doesn’t clean on the days she works because she says she is too tired, then she doesnt clean on her days off because those are her days off. I am tired of putting up with it. She is 22 and makes enough money to pay her own bills so its not like I am putting her out into the cold. I think of it like a mama bird pushing the baby out of the nest.

I came home and my landlord had weed eatered(?) the yard but didn’t mow it. But thats ok since I now have a mower. I took a ton of trash to the dump since I haven’t been in days and days. Went to the laundry mat and dried 2 loads of clothes that Mandi had washed. Finally I come to the header of this blog. I made a big pot of what we call kitchen sink soup. Its basically everything but the kitchen sink. Everytime its a bit different. Today it had hamburger, pasta shells, tomatoes, tomato puree, corn, carrots, green beans, some herbs such as thyme, sage, and parsley. Its enough to last a couple days easily and with the temps supposed to drop down to the low 30s I wanted some soup to heat me up.

Crappy Day

Today was one of those days where I truly hate my job. I spent most of the day covering for other people. I don’t mind working but I get pissed when I bust my ass to do a job that someone has let pile up and give it to me to do in less than an hour. It was already busy as hell with out the added stress. I wouldn’t even mind if they didn’t keep acting like I do nothing. Every single time anyone on the floor has a problem they need fixed its me they come to yet somehow management doesn’t see it simply because I am not an ass kisser. I like my boss but I am just not the type to fawn over someone. I think you should be judged on the merit of your work and how much you actually accomplish. So I came home and spent the evening job hunting. I just have a feeling because I left and the other girl stayed even though I asked if she needed any help that tomorrow I am going to be called on the carpet. I can tell you that if I am it will be my last day there. I won’t go back on Thursday. I have been homeless before and I can be again if I can’t find another job but I am about tired of being treated like shit.

Ok sorry about the rant but its been one of those days.

Day 2

Its just day 2 of my month to blog daily and I almost forgot. Its not like I really have anything to say but I did make it a goal so here goes. I was busy as a beaver at work. We didn’t have any trucks going out but I took off Friday and had a bit to catch up on plus deal with my normal daily stuff. The phone rang last night and it was the man who took my lawn mower last year to be fixed. I truly thought he had just taken it by this point because he took it in Oct and I hadn’t heard a word since then. He brought it by this evening and it started right up. Cost me $35 but well worth it since its now time to start mowing. I guess I need to have more faith in men. He is going to come and till me up a place around the bird bath so I can plant herbs there and also a row along the trailer to plant some stuff.

I spent the evening talking to my cousin and her ex trying to help them get back together. I honestly believe he is the best thing to ever happen to her and I think she has now come to realize it too. I think part of the problem is that our family is so dysfunctional that its hard for any of us to realize when something good actually comes our way. I wish them both the best of luck.

Horoscope for year of the Pig

YOUR FORTUNE IN PIG YEAR

RAT Expect a year of planning instead of achieving. Pig year is a time for Rat to rest, recoup from past losses, and maybe even join the crowd and indulge a little bit. It is best to reserve energy for next year 2008, the year of the Rat, when you start a new fortunate twelve-year life cycle.

OX Anticipate much activity at home and business. Ox is stimulated by extra work and succeeds. New contacts and opportunities appear throughout Pig year that are beneficial. No major difficulties are foreseen. Maybe Ox can stop working long enough to join the party and experience some fun and romance too.

TIGER Your good fortune continues from the previous Dog year. Pig year can bring good business, wild luck, easy satisfaction, and contentment because Pig is Tiger’s dear friend. Pig’s influence brings enjoyment of the finer things in life, but be aware to not overspend or overextend. Think before you pounce and not act on impulse or whim, especially in romance.

HARE Expect a very very nice year because Hare is compatible with Pig (and Sheep). Appreciate the good times, experience emotional security, and feel social contentment. Hare is less nervous and edgy. A good year for marriage or having children. But keep your business expectations low, and accomplishments may be negligible, because Hare would rather enjoy life.

DRAGON Life stabilizes after the challenges of the previous Dog year. Easy travel, light entertaining, and amusing recreation are enjoyable. But caution with finances is recommended because Dragon can overspend. Work tends to be slow, mundane, and perhaps a bit frustrating. So wait until Rat year 2008 when you experience a very fortunate work cycle.

SERPENT Accomplishments may be limited because Pig is opposite Serpent. Plans may be delayed or not manifest at all. Perhaps Serpent can enjoy the leisure and indulgence that Pig year brings, but now is time to lay low and hibernate. Avoid conflicts or lawsuits which will not end in your favor. It may be better to look forward to auspicious new beginnings in Rat year 2008 or Ox year 2009.

HORSE Enjoy the parties and passions of Pig year when you can. But Horse and Pig are very different, so Pig year could bring some uncomfortable circumstances for independent Horse. Difficulties with lazy coworkers and not-to-the-point miscommunication can delay success. And Horse could overspend on nonessential and luxuries.

SHEEP Now is one of the easiest and best years for lucky Sheep. Everything Sheep touches can turn to gold. Good fortune is seen in romance and business. Sheep could even inherit or win money. An excellent year for marriage, engagement, or having children. Take advantage of all opportunities this year.

MONKEY Expect some improvements in your life after the difficulties of the past two years. A fun year to Monkey around and have a good time. Good business advancement, travel, and possible change of resident are foreseen. Still, Monkey’s plans could be thwarted or delayed. Rat year 2008 will be far more fortunate for Monkeys in business and finance.

PHOENIX (Rooster) Pig year is a banquet so join the feast. Lighten up when you can, stop worrying, and try to enjoy life. Your values and Pig’s values are very different so avoid arguments in general. A time to be realistic and more conservative. Anticipate extra work, some challenging responsibilities, and minor career setbacks. But dedication to a career can relieve a financial slump.

DOG Good fortune continues from the previous Dog year. Focus turns to family concerns and friendships. Now is an auspicious time to begin new relationships and expand your circle of friends. Dog can have a great time at all the social events during Pig year. Life is good and Dog can easily enjoy a calm and peaceful Pig year.

PIG Finally! Expect the best year of a twelve-year life cycle. Pigs benefit greatly from the energy of their own year. Good fortune is foreseen in romance, family affairs, and business endeavors. New ventures bring success. Pigs could inherit or find money. An excellent year for marriage, romance, or having a child. Luck is with you throughout the year.

Got this from http://www.susanlevitt.com/.

I am a rat so hopefully the next 2 years will be good for me.

101 in 1001

I started reading about this on a few pagan blogs so went to read about it myself. I thought it was intriguing so gave it a shot. It took 3 days to come up with 101 tasks

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
Go here for more information. http://www.triplux.com/1001/otherlists.asp

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as new year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.

2. Stay Focussed. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.

3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.

4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.

5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

http://www.7is7.com/otto/countdclock.html get a countdown clock here if you want.
http://www.timeanddate.com/date/dateadd.html go here to figure out when 1001 days will end. In my case its on Wednesday, December 23, 2009
green is in progress
red is completed

travel and tourism
1. Go to the Renaissance Fair!
2. dress the part for the festival
3. Take a one tank of gas road trip with no preplanning. Fill up the car, pick a direction and drive.
4. visit 2 different states that I haven’t been to before.
5. get a passport
6. go to the asheboro zoo (completed 10-28-07)
7. see a warthogs game in person
8. go the the science museum in winston (completed 8-10-07)
9. visit old salem
10. go on a picnic (went on 2 actually in May 08)
11. go to Busch Gardens Williamsburg again
12. go to beach
13. go on a weekend murder mystery trip

family
14. get mandi moved into a place of her own
15. attend family reunion and enjoy myself
15. buy a headstone for my grandmother’s grave
17. Get engaged and/or married (and/or some kind of permanent relationship). ( not real sure about engaged or married, more likely some kind of permanent relationship)
18. have sex every day for 30 days (hasn’t ever happened in almost 39 years but a girl can dream :)
19. meet my half brother Donald. Actually he doesn’t have any interest in knowing anything about this side of the family but it would still be nice to know what he was like.

health and fitness
20. lose 100 lbs -not only hasn't this happened. I have actually gained :(
21. perform in a charity race
22. use pilates dvd 2 x a week for 6 months straight
23. get a mammogram
24. Take a belly dancing class
25. prepare first aid kits for house and cars
26. Get a massage
27. Eat vegetarian for a month
28. get a tattoo

hobbies
29. plant an herb garden
30. Learn to speak Spanish with some level of fluency
31. project 365- read about it here http://www.photojojo.com/content/tutorials/project-365-take-a-photo-a-day/
32. learn 5 constellations by site not counting either dipper http://www.wikisky.org/
33. Learn to sew.
34. learn to decorate cakes
35. Buy a Rubrik’s Cube and finish it.
36. Join a reading group
37. put up a bird feeder and keep it supplied
38. get a bread machine and use it
39. Take a photo and submit it into a contest
40. Take pictures of as many of my 101 in 1001 as possible
41. Catalog all my books
42. Learn to play Texas Hold ‘Em - I bought a strategy guide yesterday- actually learned how to play on Pogo

personal and spiritual growth
43. Take an auto repair class
44. meditate every day for 1 month
45. Ask someone on a date
46. Get an altar set up in my home
47. learn to read tarot cards and use them daily
48. Do not interrupt anyone for two months (I talk a lot more than I listen)
49. Register as an organ donor
50. volunteer in some charity form that I believe in (probably habitat for humanity or a woman’s shelter or both preferably)
51. Participate in and complete a 26 Things project. http://sh1ft.org/26things/
52. Attend six movies by myself
53. write 10 letters to people who have made a positive difference in my life thanking them.
54. Do something spectacular for my 40th birthday!!! well not gonna happen since its already past.
55. Celebrate the turning of the wheel for a full year
56. Learn how to Tie a Tie. http://www.tie-a-tie.net/
57. Compliment at least three people a week for 3 months
58. Go a month without saying anything negative to anyone else.
59. get at least halfway through jaco university
60. pick 5 different countries and spend a month learning about them and top it off with a dinner composed of native foods
61. Do at least one RAOK per month
62. Research 2008 presidential candidates thoroughly and vote accordingly
63. join the bone marrow registry http://www.marrow.org/
64. Double the size of my social circle (of course 2 x 0 is still 0)
65. let go of all the old memories and pain of former loves (may need amnesia to accomplish this one)

entertainment
66. earn every weekly challenge badge in pogo for 2007 (completed 12/27/08)
67. read 50 books from here http://www.randomhouse.com/modernlibrary/100bestnovels.html that I haven’t already read (25 from the boards list and 25 from the readers list)
68. watch 25 movies from here http://us.imdb.com/chart/top that I haven’t already seen - went to Netflix and put the 25 movies in the top of my queue so they will be sent.
69. get an ipod
70. read 15 assorted books from here http://www.ala.org/ala/oif/bannedbooksweek/bbwlinks/100mostfrequently.htm
70. go to see Black Label Society perform live

home and work
71. Get promoted or get a new job
72. clean my house from top to bottom once a month every month
73. fix one new recipe a week for at least 20 weeks
74. Purge clothes closet - Donate to charity anything that doesn’t make you feel great when you wear it
75. Buy a house.
76. Get credit score
77. Improve my credit score- started deleting incorrect information
78. Do a monthly “27 Fling Boogie” for every room for at least 12 months straight

misc.
79. Keep my car clean enough for one month that I could carry three other people in it without rearranging anything
80. Save 1000 dollars in a savings account
81. Blog for 30 consecutive days (completed 4-30-07 on wordpress blog.)
82. redesign my blog- (1st one done 4-1-07)
83. Sell something on Ebay
84. start to recycle
85. get glamour shots done
86. Go one month with buying nothing but gas and perishables such as milk
87. complete at least 10 things from my lifetime goals list
88. own 3 complete dress up outfits with appropriate shoes
89. get computer fixed and install a cd burner again (bought a new computer)
90. back up all data files on cd
91. either get another car with a cd player or install one in my current car
92. Learn to fire a gun.
93. Learn to drive a car with manual transmission.
94. Complete a state quarter collection
95. Contact/talk to a friend I have not talked to for at least two years. Found one on myspace and called her
96. get a cell phone
97. get a vanity plate for car
98. start writing a book
99. Meet someone famous
100. go to a book signing
101. Make a new 101 in 1001 days list when this list completed

Completed:11

In Progress: 3
Still to Start On: 88

coupon savings

I just started saving coupons this year after years off. I wanted to save as much money as I could. I just started doing a small merchandiser job at cvs. Anyhow while I was there I saw they were having a big markdown on some items. I got 2 degree deodarants, 4 dove deodorants, 2 sauve shampoos, 2 sauve conditioners, 1 dove shampoo and 1 dove conditioner, 1 vo5 conditioner, 1 studio hair gel, 1 loral eyeshadow, nail polish, and lipstick. 3 ultress hair dyes and 1 hydrience hair dye. After clearance it was still $38 but with my coupons I got all of that for $13. So now I am stocked up on deodorant and shampoo and conditioner and hair dyes for a long time now. I was quite pleased since its been less than a month I have been saving coupons.
I did a google search last night for an old boyfriend since I hadn't heard from him in over a year. I sent him an email and we chatted a bit today. It was nice to know he was ok. The guy I was seeing last week has apparently decided he doesn't want to see me anymore since I haven't seen or heard from him since Sunday. Men can be such asses.

Bitchy attitudes.

I got the merchandising job for CVS. Its just about 3-4 hours a month sorting their book display but it pays $15 an hour so thats 45-60 more a month. The temp agency called and hired Mandi, she starts tomorrow. I am still waiting for the man to call me for an interview. Allison called last night and said she had her baby and it is a girl. She named the baby, Heaven. I started an online class about herbs. I have been sick as a dog. I am so tired of coughing.
Its actually been nice weather today compared to last weekend. There is a high of 40 today. Mandi went to Shannon's a minute ago and I am glad. I get so tired of her treating me like shit when I am the one who supports her ungrateful ass. All I did was ask her to spend less than 30 seconds to vacuum the living room and she went off. She reminds me of Lisa with that attitude. Its not like I haven't done the dishes, laundry and cleaned the rest of the house.

I joined a discussion list on tarot. I have the cards I got from Barnes and Noble and I bought a book from there the other day but so far thats all I have done with it. I would like to know how to use my cards. I guess I need to mail my taxes out tomorrow.

bitter cold

We are having an ugly day. Its cold and snowy. There is supposed to be freezing rain tonight so that should make it fun when I have to leave at 4 am to go to work. I spent the day cleaning house and just doing a bit of nothing. Its so rare for me to get a day off with nothing to do. But the house is totally cleaned now at least. I also got a call from the CVS ppl and they wanted me to merchandise for them. Its just about 2 hours a month but thats ok. I go past there almost daily so thats easy money for just straightening some books.

Mandi is spending the weekend with her friends again I guess. The temp agency has a really great job for me if everything checks out ok. I would really like to have a good job just once. I am afraid the transmission is going out in the car and unless I get another job and some money soon I won't be able to get it fixed. I did a merchandising job yesterday and learned a valuable lesson. I won't do hard jobs that take a lot of time for not enough money. It took me 2 hours to make $8.

SNOW

      It's snowing here, but its not supposed to stick. I hope not because I have to drive to Winston for Mandi's interview. I got a call this morning from someone asking me to do an hour merchandising job tomorrow. I said yes. That makes 1 merch job and 2 mystery shops this week; I am supposed to do. I hope the temp agency finds me something good tomorrow. I get so tired of the store taking me for granted. A woman there complained because I wasn't closing but one night and I am supposed to do 2. My manager made it so I started doing 2 and I said nothing but now that woman isn't closing any for the next 2 weeks. She is supposed to do 2 also. It seems like I get crapped on all the time and I am always the one who does what they want.
      I did some freebies yesterday. Here are the links.
Free one-year subscription to Dream Network Journal
Each issue of the Dream Network Journal explores the power of dreams and their interpretations, symbolism and mythology. You will also find extraordinary dream inspired art and poetry. You have to qualify for this one.
subscribe here
Magazine


Free "Princess And The Pea" DVD
The "You are a Critic" program is designed to give you a voice in the kind of movies produced for your family. As producers of values-driven family entertainment we will analyze and consider your input. This will help us develop and produce inspired stories-on-film that meet the desires and needs of your family.
By participating in this program, you will be sent a free, one-time screening of a film on DVD, and later be asked to critique the film on the Internet, allowing your voice to be heard.
dvd

sample tide coldwater
tide

Playing cards from absolute vodka age 21+ here*sign up, confirm from email and then click on texas hold em. You can also get an absolut poster. cards

Tuesday- good quote

     Mandi and I went to the temp agency and applied yesterday. I have to go back Thursday for an interview and Mandi has to go back Wednesday. They told her she was interviewing for a phone survey place paying $9 an hour but they didn't tell me anything. I hope they find me something that I want to do all the time. While Mandi is at her interview I have signed up to do a mystery shop checking prices at some places. It pays $30 and I had to be there anyhow with nothing to fill the time with so this works perfect. I am also doing another shop saturday morning before work. Its a resturant and it pays $10 plus reimburses for my meal up to $8. My goal is to do about 5 shops a week. I would like to pick up some merchandising work also. I applied for two local ones today. One is at CVS and the other one is some gardening place.

     I got a really cool quote in my email today. I like that message it sends.
"The most self-destructive thought that any person can have is thinking that he or she is not in total control of his or her life. That's when, ‘Why me?’ becomes a theme song."

-- Roger Dawson

Melancholy

I have been super busy with work and life lately. Someone I used to date but have vowed to not have in my life anymore just keeps popping up. I have tried my best to not be mean but somehow he just brings it out. Over means over. I went to a local bar with my aunt Friday night, it was an ok time. At least I got out of the house. Mind you not one guy talked to me there
All that got me thinking of my past and men I have loved. I think humans should have some instinct that would make you not fall in love with someone who doesn't love you back. It would be nice and a lot less painful. Sometimes, I wonder how you can love someone so much that it feels like your soul is torn apart without him and yet you are nothing at all to him. Thankfully I have only loved one person that much and I don't plan on ever feeling like that again. So that explains the melancholy heading. I think possible I just don't want to try and fail again. But life is about trying. When you quit trying you are dead. I guess its a wait and see game.
Motley Crue is coming to NC and the concert is already sold out. My daughter burst into tears at the news. She loves Tommy Lee. I wonder how much scalped tickets would cost. I think I will try to win some off the radio.

Web Sites

Yesterday was the only day I have actually not had to work within a 2 week time period so I spent the day doing nothing but relaxing. I read and surfed the web a lot. I found some sites I thought were pretty neat so I will share them.

Wikipedia This is a really cool encyclopedia. I had a blast looking up different things.

Satisfacton Services This is another mystery shop site. I would like to do more shops than I am doing now.

JavaScript Source There are some very fun codes here to add to your webpage.

Preparing for College Mandi is going to start this fall so this was a helpful site.


I joined a whole slew of newsgroups on a variety of topics. But today it is back to the daily grindstone. I have to close one store tonight and then open at my regular store in the morning. I will have to make myself go straight to bed so I can get up at 3:30. Tomorrow I am going to the temp agency so I can get registered and do all the paperwork so that by next Monday I will be ready to start working.

Sunday

Yesterday I drove to Mocksville to visit my cousin. I managed to get lost twice and then she wasn't even home. On the way back a truck that was pulling a tractor wrecked in front of me and almost hit me while flipping. It was really scary. I slammed on the brakes and smoke flew from them. The boy behind me started fishtailing and I knew he wasn't going to be able to keep from hitting me so I got all the way over to the guardrail. He barely managed to keep from hitting the car in front of me. I came home intending to not leave the house again since it was a bad car day obviously for me. But someone called in sick at work and I went in since that will give me 15 hours of overtime this week.

I went out and bought the sunday papers so I could have the coupons but now I know to not waste my money buying the Mt Airy paper. It doesn't have coupons in it. I saved about $5 last week using coupons and I sent in rebates for several items. I need to get one more receipt and I will have completed the $10 pepsi rebate. I am going to save all my rebate money and I am also getting a lot of items that they have for sending in upc's. Those will be xmas presents this year. I have several for t-shirts that I need to get upc's for.

I called my best friend Debbie in WV today. It was good talking to her. I really need to work on making more friends here. A friend of mine out here had her baby a couple days ago but the baby died. It was so sad. I know her mother is devasted. This was her first grandchild and she was really looking forward to spoiling her. Sometimes life can be so sad. I have been sad myself because I miss Randy but I know getting him out of my life was the best thing for me. I just mostly miss him because now I have this empty space with nothing to fill it with. I seem to spend all my time at work or online. Hopefully when I start working 2 jobs I will have enough money to finally go do a few things.

5 lbs

Even though I have felt like I wasn't following my diet and eating too much when I got on the scales I have lost 5 lbs this year so now I feel better and have been trying to do better. I so want to lose weight this year. I am so tired of being fat. I went walking for 30 minutes but apparently the shoes I was wearing had no support because my right foot swelled up and I couldn't put any weight on it for the past 2 days without being in pain. Its pretty hard to stand at a cash register for 8 hours when your in pain. I guess next week I am going to go ahead and look for a second job because the overtime the company offered me is only going to be about 8 hours. That is more than I would normally get but its still not as much as a second full time job would be.

I have been collecting and organizing coupons like crazy. I stocked up on some stuff at the store yesterday. I really want to save money this year. I am about as tired of being poor as I am of being fat. I have sent out 2 rebates so far this year for about $12 so thats not too bad for a newbie. I joined some coupon and rebate newsletters so I would be sure and hear about good deals and know to watch for them.

Pretty good day

My boss called me this morning and asked if I would fill in at another store on my days off from my store. I said yes since it will be over time for me and I will be making $12 an hour. I can find a temp job later on after they don't need me to fill in. I also got a check in the mail for $26 for a mystery shop I did in Dec.
I went shopping at Eckerd's and bought a few things to complete a rebate offer. I got 2 colgate totals (with free toothbrushes attached) and a bottle of palmolive and ajax dish liquid. After coupons, it cost me $3.25 and the rebate is $10 so I will have made a profit. I went by the library and they were having a book sale. I got 4 Janet Evanovich books for $1.00. She is one of my top 10 favorite writers so I was really thrilled with this one.
I have done pretty well dieting today but my feet were killing me after work and then going shopping so I didn't walk. If I get to feeling better this evening I might go walking. But all in all its been a good day.

Day 2

So far this has been a boring year. I have worked at the store and managed to not get rid of Randy. He begged me to go out with him today and then as usual let me down. I am going to force myself to be strong and not care that he acts all hurt and just have nothing more to do with him. He just drains the life from me anyhow. Since it was the first I had to spend all weekend changing prices at the store and getting the paperwork ready for the office. One more week and I can get a second job so I can have more available cash. I have been trying to be more frugal though. There was a great rebate form in todays paper that is actually going to net me @ $7.00.
There was an opposum on the porch this morning after I feed the cats. I think he is living under the trailer because he was there as soon as I put the food out. Guess I am only going to be able to feed them in the daylight hours. Tomorrow I have to go get the car legal since they were closed friday and they have had road checks 2 days straight now. Mandi's friend Jessica is spending the night here tonight.
Being frugal is so far the only resolution I have managed to keep. I have done nothing but eat the last 2 days so there hasn't been any weight loss thats for sure.